the heart grows fonder
by raineynight
Summary: "During the day, his belief was steadfast. At night, he dreamed in gold." Ed is on the other side of the Gate, and Roy is still clinging to hope.


Roy slumped at his desk, leaning his head on his hand and gazing disgruntledly at the paperwork. There were several large stacks of it on his desk. He thought he had made some good headway through it, but now there appeared to be even more than before.

Obviously, the only answer was that it had gained sentience and started multiplying in a bid to take over the world.

Or maybe he just needed more sleep and less coffee from the cafeteria. (There were rumors that someone had actually gotten high off the fumes from it before. Roy wouldn't doubt it; the stuff resembled nothing so much as a mix of gasoline and industrial strength cleaning supplies. He was very suspicious of the vague pine flavor.)

Maybe he could get Hawkeye to run out for some decent, non-floor cleaner sludge coffee? He contemplated for a moment, narrowing his eye at the paperwork. With this much work still left to do, she was much more likely to shoot at him rather than do nice things for him.

Heaving a martyred sigh, Roy dragged a file closer with the hand not busy propping him up. He flipped it open and attempted to read it, but his mind was elsewhere.

It was the anniversary today, of Edward disappearing to another world. It had been, what? Four years now? It both seemed like it hadn't been that long, and like it had been indefinably longer.

Roy had been busy in those years, at least after Edward's brief reappearance had restored in him the fire he had thought lost. He had fought his way back to his rightful place, with his team and his title, and had even managed to garner a promotion in the process. (Of course, with that promotion also came more damned paperwork. Equivalent exchange, as Edward would say.)

He thought that Edward would be proud of him, for removing his head from the sand and rejoining the fray. Roy hoped so, at least, after the quick chewing out Ed had given him, in between saving the world, when he learned that Roy had allowed himself to be demoted and sent to the North without even fighting the sentence.

And then, there was the moment that was still crystal clear in his mind, even to this day.

Edward had been about to leave, to return to the other side of the gate and close it for good. To stop anymore threats from coming through. He said that he wouldn't be able to come back through the gate.

He had looked back at Roy, and his eyes had been full of so many different emotions at once, he hadn't been able to name all of them at the time. Most predominant had been wistfulness, and something that Roy would call 'fondness', for his own state of mind.

And then Edward had darted forward and grabbed the collar of his coat, pulling him down so they were on the same level.

And they had kissed. Roy could never say which one of them had moved first, only that it had been fierce and desperate and aching all at once, and it hadn't just been a kiss.

It had been a _goodbye_ , and an _I'll see you again_. He didn't know how he knew that, but he did, even then.

They had clung to one another for a too-short minute, lips still locked together, and then they had parted.

And he hadn't seen Ed since.

Through all of it, the aftermath of the invasion and fighting to have his rank restored and to regather his team, Roy had also been fighting with himself. Fighting to make himself believe that last, silent promise. That _I'll see you again_.

Not many believed like he did that Ed would return, although the team were cautiously optimistic. The only other person that seemed to take Ed's return as a fact was Alphonse. He had become a State Alchemist in order to have the resources he would need to research a way to bring his brother back. (And if ( _when_ ) Ed returned, Roy was sure that he would be hearing it for allowing that to happen. In his defence, Alphonse could be just as stubborn and pigheaded as his brother, and once he made up his mind Ed was the only one that could change it.)

Roy clung to his belief that Ed would return, using it to push forward even when he felt like he couldn't take another step. The challenges he faced were nothing compared to those that Ed had faced since childhood, and the one he faced now in trying to return home from another world. If Roy gave up, Ed would kick his ass when he got back, and Roy would let him.

Because of his belief, Roy made sure that Ed was still listed as a member of his team, and that official records read that Edward Elric was on a long-term mission to do with national security, with all details redacted. It wasn't even a lie. (It had been surprisingly easy to get those things approved by the higher-ups. Of course, Grumman had been a rather easy sell, since he was still fond of Edward from his days in East, and several others had apparently 'heard good things' about the Fullmetal Alchemist. Roy figured they had never read any of his reports before.)

During the day, his belief was steadfast. At night, he dreamed in gold.

Gold eyes, gold hair, gold skin. Warm and alive and close enough to touch.

Sometimes the dreams got heated, but most often it was just the two of them, curled up together and talking and laughing. He would run his fingers through Ed's hair, and Ed would arch into his hand like a content cat to demand more petting.

Sometimes he woke up with a laugh in his throat, and sometimes he woke up with tears down his cheeks.

Roy shook his head, trying to shake off his melancholy. Now wasn't the time to be thinking of these things. He had a bottle of scotch with his name on it when he got home, and he could drown himself in alcohol and nostalgia all night if he wanted.

Maybe a short nap would help. Just to energize himself… (The pine-sludge coffee definitely hadn't done the trick.) He let his head rest more heavily in his hand, and closed his eye. If Hawkeye caught him like this, he'd be in trouble. But it would be worth it for the glimpse of gold, no matter how fleeting or incorporeal.

For several minutes he dozed, not quite asleep or awake, and imagined he could feel hands on his skin, one warm flesh and the other cold metal. Shivers ran down his spine and he bit his lip. So it was going to be one of those dreams, then.

Of course, as soon as he started to slip into true sleep, there was a commotion from the hallway. He could hear raised voices and stomping and shouted curses. He blinked for a moment in confusion. All of those sounds together brought back powerful memories of the Elric brothers reporting in.

Roy had just begun to ease out of his chair to check on the commotion when he could hear the door to his outer office bang open with a crash, a very specific noise that came from it being kicked open and then hitting the wall hard enough to make a dent. Only one person had ever been rude enough (and ballsy enough) to enter the Flame Alchemist's office in such a way.

All noise from the outer office immediately ceased. Roy didn't think he had _ever_ heard his team this quiet. He wanted to go and check on them, see what was happening, but he felt like he couldn't breathe.

He somehow managed to stumble halfway across the room, heading for the door, when it was unceremoniously kicked in as well. His breath caught in his throat.

Edward Elric was standing in his doorway with a manic grin on his face. His hair was longer, his skin was tanner, and his face had lost the baby fat, but this was undoubtedly Edward.

"Hey, Colonel. Sorry I'm late with my report, but ya know how it is. Shit to do, worlds to save. The usual." His grin turned smug as Roy continued gaping, and he held his arms out in an unmistakable gesture while simultaneously kicking the door to the inner office closed.

Roy somehow managed to make it across the room without tripping and breaking his neck, which was impressive considering that he didn't feel like he'd taken a breath since Ed had kicked in the door.

He wasted no time in wrapping Ed up in a tight hug, a bit surprised that he was hugged back just as tightly. For all Ed's bravado, Roy could feel fine shudders wracking his body, and knew that he would have to get the full story of the other world from Ed. At some other time.

Roy held Edward like he never wanted to let go, because he didn't. But eventually Ed pulled back a bit and gave a little smirk.

"You sure are quiet, Colonel. If I'd known _this_ was all it took to shut you up, then I'd- Well, no I wouldn't, going to another world for years at a time just to keep you quiet isn't worth it, but only barely."

Roy shook his head with a helpless smile. He couldn't seem to stop smiling.

"Edward…" His voice was deep and rough, and he was utterly at a loss over how to communicate everything he felt now, everything he had felt over the years. "It's Brigadier-General now. Get it right."

Roy's eye widened a bit when he realized what he had said, and he wanted to beat his head against the wall. He was supposed to be a natural flirt, what had happened to his smoothness? _That_ was the first thing he said to the man that he lo- _was fond of_ after he returned from being stuck in another world for years?! Dear lord, he was hopeless. It was a miracle he managed basic human interaction on a daily basis.

Ed didn't seem to mind, if the way he threw his head back with laughter was any indication. When he looked back at Roy, his smile was blindingly bright. Roy felt his breath catch again, and wondered if he would survive this encounter without any medical conditions. Like heart failure.

"I missed you too, bastard." It looked like Ed was going to say something else, but the sheer affection in his eyes caused Roy to act without thinking. He leaned in and pulled Ed forward using the collar of his coat. Their eyes met for a brief moment, and the air seemed to crackle with electricity.

And they were kissing. It was fierce and desperate and aching, just like before, but in all the best ways now. There was no impending separation looming over them. They didn't have to give this up for the sake of the world.

It gentled after a few moments, turning into long, languid kisses that made Roy feel like his insides were melting and his knees had turned to jello. His hands fell to cup Edward's ass, and he groaned as he squeezed the muscular cheeks. Ed gasped into his mouth and pushed closer, seemingly trying to climb him like a tree.

Roy used his grip to encourage him to walk backwards, not breaking the kiss, so he could fall on the couch and pull Ed down on top of him. Ed put his hands on Roy's chest and wiggled his lower half to get comfortable, and Roy hissed as the movement put pressure on certain sensitive areas. His hands were still on Ed's ass, and he kneaded the muscles as he used his grip to push Ed down while he ground up. The result was a choked moan from Ed and a bitten off groan from himself, and he caught Ed's lips again while he continued his kneading and massaging. A half-formed thought had him hoping that Ed would go back to wearing the leather pants everywhere again. He would _fight_ for Ed's right to wear the leather pants.

They broke apart for air, and Ed started kissing down his throat. Roy moaned in response, baring his throat so Ed could have easier access. Ed hummed to show his appreciation, and it sent pleasant tingles up Roy's spine.

Just as Ed was starting to fumble with the buttons of Roy's uniform jacket, there was a sharp rap at the door. Both of them immediately froze.

"Sir, Alphonse was informed of his brother's return and is waiting to see him. I've taken the liberty of cancelling all of your meetings for the rest of the day, as this obviously takes precedence. We are all anxious to see Edward again." Hawkeye paused for a moment, before her muffled voice could be heard once again. "Also, these walls are very thin." That was obviously all she had to say, as her footsteps could be heard walking back to her desk.

The two of them stared at each other for a minute, before Ed ducked his head to Roy's chest and snorted into his uniform. "I can't believe Hawkeye just caught us making out like teenagers in your office. And that she isn't pissed about it." Ed was still laughing after he finished talking.

Roy smiled and finally removed a hand from Ed's ass, running it through his hair instead. "Don't worry, I'm pretty sure she just won a lot of money, so she'll be in a good mood for a few days." That made Ed snort again, before he settled back down on Roy's chest.

"I know we have to go out there, and I wanna see everybody, god do I wanna see Al, but." Ed paused, and Roy could feel him taking a breath. "Do you want to continue this later? Tonight? I guess we should probably talk, too."

Roy felt like he had a ray of sunshine in his chest, he felt so warm and light. He smiled down at Edward, and knew there was _fondness_ in his eye. "Of course, you're back and we haven't even had one argument yet. We'll have to fix that before we unbalance the universe."

Ed lifted his head to grin at him cheekily. "Hmm, I know some things we can do before arguing." He leaned forward so he was only a few centimeters from Roy's lips. "And after."

Roy met him for a few more languid kisses before pushing at his chest so he would let Roy up. Before he moved, Roy caught his eye again and said, "Does my house at seven sound okay? I can order Xingese."

Ed kissed his nose this time, before sitting up so he could do the same. "Since when do you know me to turn down free food, _Colonel_?"

Roy sent him a look, knowing that Ed was mocking him for the first thing he had said, and got a smirk in return. He shook his head with a sigh, unable to keep a soft smile from his face. "I'll order extra."

The smirk grew.

Yes, Roy thought as he and Edward made themselves presentable once again, he definitely felt a great deal of fondness for this amazing, beautiful, exasperating, dear man. Maybe even something more.

He could figure it out later. He planned on staying by Ed's side for a very long time.

Forever sounded nice.

* * *

This was my gift for hikaru-9 on tumblr for the RoyEd Gift Exchange 2016. They asked for angst and FMA 03.


End file.
